Blooming In Adversity

Perhaps it’s the fact that Lent just ended and the Easter season has me feeling pretty dang inspired, or maybe it’s just the nostalgia that has come with today, but lately I’ve been deeply contemplative of where I have been the last year and how the Lord has worked in my life. I’m not about to sit here and tell you that I know the ins and outs of the Lord’s plan- only He knows, and they’re His best kept secret. We never truly know what will happen until we’ve been there, done that.

A year ago today, I got a letter saying I wasn’t accepted to nursing school.

A year ago today, I felt devastated. I felt betrayed.

A year ago today I was sitting in the chapel on campus, asking God why the heck he would give me such a burning desire to do something, only to not see it through? My only response was a sense of overwhelming peace.

I published an article on my thoughts at the time, and it was all hopeful stuff. And though I knew all of it to be true, and I felt peaceful, it was still a dark time for me. Nursing is hard, and it is competitive. You learn to work under extreme amounts of pressure for really high stakes, because you aren’t studying for a simple degree- you’re studying to save someone’s life someday. You’re studying for a passion- a vocation. And much like the job, the process of getting into nursing school is not for the faint of heart. Over time, the competition becomes engrained in you and if you can’t keep it in check, it can really overtake your personality. I had let it get to that point, and the only thing I felt from that rejection letter was crippling failure and incompetence. I wasn’t the best.

But those were lies. Now, I look back and see just how far I have come.

I feel like the Lord needed me to deepen my trust in Him before I got into the program. In leaving San Marcos, I would be cutting some roots that had grown very deep. After becoming independent and finding my footing, I would be leaving a life that had become so enriched by the people and experiences that I surrounded myself with and returning to a place that suddenly felt barren with just school. My relationship with the Lord would be the only thing that was definitely going to carry over, and He needed to deepen that. He needed me to trust Him more, because going through a program so intense and so far away from many of my closest friends was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So why not hit where it would hurt the most, and build from there?

I wasn’t one of the 100 that was originally accepted to St. David’s School of Nursing. My call didn’t come until over the summer. So what? I’m here now, and I’m thriving. I’ve been given the opportunity to be president of an amazing group of people, and I’m doing better in school than I ever have before. There was a period when I really doubted my abilities, but God pushed me through. He let me lean on Him through the hardest “no” I have ever heard, and He created a path for me.  Though I’ve learned to tame the competition, comparison can still creep up on me when I least expect it. I need to stop believing the lie that I’m not capable; the Lord proved to me this last year that I am MORE than capable- and He continues to prove it each and every day.

A year ago today, I thought my dream had reached a very sudden end.

Today, I feel that the Lord was simply asking me to give a little more.

In a year, I’ll be closing in on graduation, and I can hardly believe the path behind me and the journey still before me.

Though our hearts desire, God really is the one who writes the plan. Not everything is going to work out the way we want it- but it will all work out, in the end. Trust is a hard concept to master, but every day is a lesson and I’m so blessed to be learning.

Mulan Quote

 

Long Time, No See!

I’ve officially decided that 16 hours worth of pre-nursing prerequisites is too much!!

I’m so sorry that I abandoned y’all the last few months, Sizzlers! I’ve missed crafting and blogging so much! I plan on actually sticking to blogging now- NO MORE LONG HIATUSES. Especially not three month-long ones. I missed crafting too much. But, after a very long ride on the study struggle bus, I’m hoping the fruits of my labor will pay off because it’s officially time for me to apply to TXST’s nursing school (real life? What?).

God has really come alive in me throughout the semester, as well. I had developed mild depression and anxiety over the summer, and it got much worse during the beginning of the semester. But, through many blessings both big and small, he has come to show me that I deserve so much better than the place I was at during the beginning of this year! It was very hard for me to see in the beginning, but he has built me up so much and really shown me what it means to have childlike faith. I don’t recognize who I was when I started my sophomore year, and it has been a remarkable journey: my depression is completely gone and I’ve never felt happier! My anxiety is still sliiiightly there, because nursing school is stressful. But that’s tolerable, and He’ll give me the patience and grace to work through it…hopefully. On top of all of it, I’ve been blessed with a wonderful new group of friends who raised me up and stood by my side during all of it!

I’m a proud active member of Mu Epsilon Theta Catholic Service sorority and am so blessed with the girlfriends and sisterhood I have there!

My lineage!! My "twin" Sabrina (aka Mario here) and I are littles to our Big Natalie, who is above us. Our Grandbig Mari is on the very top!

My lineage!! My “twin” Sabrina (aka Mario here) and I are littles to our Big Natalie, who is above us. Our Grandbig Mari is on the very top!

My family went on a cruise (my very first one) over Thanksgiving, and it was grand! I can’t wait to go on another one. I spent most of the ship days studying for my nursing exam, but I passed with flying colors (and got to see Jamaica and Cozumel) so it was all worth it!!

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The final thing I wanted to tell you all about is the beginning of my essential oils business!! If you’ve never heard of essential oils, let me tell you: they are a wonderful thing. They’re a holistic alternative to healthcare, and they work wonders!! In my experience, lavender and peppermint oils stop a headache almost immediately as opposed to popping an Advil or Tylenol. And that’s just one example!! I’m a Wellness Advocate for a company called doTERRA, so if you’re interested in learning more about essential oils, you can contact me and visit the essential oils page in the menu up top, which contains a link to my essential oils website where you can purchase your own oils. There’s an oil for everything- feel free to ask me for advice!

I’m ecstatic to be back in the blogosphere, Sizzlers! Thank you for bearing with me during my break, and I’ll be back to sending tutorials your way very soon! ❤